When Morphine and iPhone Are Your Best Friends

Hello dear friends and readers.  Since my last post there have been so many changes here in my life and of course for my dear Mom whose life on this earth we expect is only days now and perhaps less.  It seems an eternity since I held her arm and we walked into the ER on July 9th.  The kind Dr. on call that evening was so on target when he said, "Your mother is in the final stages of congestive heart failure."  He added emphatically, "Your job will be to keep her comfortable... " Yes, indeed. It seems every waking moment in my life and countless other people has been to see to it that she is not in pain and as comfortable as one could possibly be as the fluids build up in her body and the heart is struggling to keep the life blood flowing. It has been heart wrenching to watch to say the least.

There have been many bright spots though these past few weeks. The most significant one being the joining together of my siblings, two brothers and two sisters, making the choice to keep and care for mom at home. We've all set aside past grievances and hard feelings to take on this enormous task. 

So very proud of them all... as I watch them transfer her from wheelchair to commode. Leave the next day to their jobs after a sleepless night with a restless mom who is awake all night and decides to get out of bed on her own.  My niece, Alicia, who has been here several days and nights and leaves to take care of a family of three children. 

Hospice. Well, I cannot say enough for our program here with it's countless volunteers, nurses, and a Dr. who made a house call here day before yesterday.

Our every need is met from wheelchair, to hospital bed and medications delivered right to our door. 

Even with all the endless help, for which I'll be forever grateful, I feel like I've been floating in a bubble of pill bottles, phone calls, decisions upon decisions and now recently the bottle of morphine which has become our best friend as it's the only thing that is helping our dear mom with her struggle. I've had to overcome preconcieved notions that this drug is meant to hasten death when in reality death is hastening all on its own. The drug comforts. The Dr. who made the housecall recently said to us, "Morphine will be your best friend." 

Oh, and one more thing... I mentioned the iPhone in my blogpost's title as a best friend too. A couple of days ago I upgraded my iPhone 5s to a brand new iPhone 6s. I now enjoy the hotspot which enables my laptop to work anywhere through my phone. Still learning all the 6s has to offer. During these past few weeks with sibings, doctors, nurses, relatives, hospice people and just Dave and I  trying to coordinate our lives around being full time caregivers, I managed to go over my alloted texting and talking time on my old iPhone.  To the tune of $300.00 or so!! Yikes!  That was a lot of texting and talking!  But our entire family has stayed well connected and organized beyond belief. 

Can't imagine this happening in the days before texting!

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Well... I started writing this post a couple of hours ago. 

How fast things change.  Mom is suddenly showing signs that she will be leaving us very soon. 

Not sure how to end this... but asking for your prayers for a peaceful and painless transition for our beautiful mom.  A place of untold beauty and joy certainly awaits her precious soul.

No more suffering, sickness and pain.

Cathy G