Please keep reading ladies and gentlemen. Try not to get your shorts in a bind while I explain the title and scathing photo on my blog today!
Lest you think I frequent porn sights for photos I want you to know this one was found on Etsy.com by simply typing in the word underwear in the search box. The more adventurous of you may want to try that someday while cooped up inside during these treacherous and merciless hot days of summer.
These hot sticky days reminded me of a time in the 1960's when I was a kid on a farm in the middle of a hot humid summer. The old farmhouse had no air conditioning of course. No ceiling fans either. My memories of sitting on and sticking to the wooden dining room chairs and leaving behind white cheek marks linger to this day.
We had an old upright piano in the dining room and Mom had purchased a rather cheap wooden piano bench (the kind with a lacquered finish) and that baby really showed those cheek marks after the hour of piano practice in the summer! The lid opened on the bench and I stored my piano lesson books inside.
On occasion my Mom's Aunt Pearl and her husband Frank would come visit in the evenings. Pearl was a plus size woman who played the piano and sang gospel hymns like they were bar room entertainment. Pearl always wore a dress. When she played the piano I always kept an eye on my bench wondering if the legs would hold out from all that heavy rockin' and rollin' as Pearl pounded the ivories.
One particularly hot evening after Frank and Pearl had gone home I was examining my piano bench and the rather large cheek marks embedded in the wood when my Mom said so matter of fact "she never wears underwear you know". Horrified I looked at Mom and said "never?" "Hardly ever" she said. Well! And only inches away from my beloved piano books! I'd never practice "Bill Grogans Goat" again after that without thinking of Great Aunt Pearl's booty unclad and sticking to my bench. How convenient for Uncle Frank. ( I only think that now.... ha..... not nice I know.)
So that is what prompted my search for a photo to accompany that story. I couldn't find anything on the internet that I deemed suitable. But my search turned up miss Vengeance up there selling ( what WAS she selling anyway?) on Etsy.
Seriously folks I hope you are all staying safe and keeping hydrated during these hot days. Maybe the time spent indoors icing down in front of the fan will bring back some of your own memories of hot summer days when it was too hot for underwear!
Cathy G
Hi, Cathy~ writing this giggling & smiling~ too funny~LOL the pic is funny~ and the story is hilarious~ check marks on the wood~ yep, I am with you I remember them days~
ReplyDeleteBut Your Aunt Pearl(LOL) just put the iceing on th cake~ (My gut aches from laughing~ no one is around me or they would think I was crazy!!)You poor thing having that thouht imbedded in your mind as your playing piano~ LOL I pictured it all now that is a story~ a good old fashioned funny real life way it is~
thanks for making my day~
keep cool~
smiles
Teresa
I'm laughing ~ out loud!! Isn't it funny the things a memory can trigger!! Yikes ~ I hope Aunt Pearl has gone to her great reward or if not, that she is not internet savvy!!! Have a good weekend!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG Cathy - I have tears streaming down my face from laughing. My grandmother had a sister like Aunt Pearl. And she always sat like she just got off a horse!! My grandfather used to go to the basement to work when she visited. I never understood that til I was older.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the HOOT!
OMG! Cathy what a great story on such a hot day, AGAIN!!!! OLM
ReplyDeleteWhat an eye catcher! Believe it or not.. she's selling the thong she's wearing... um... eeew? lol! Thanks for the giggles on this sweltering afternoon 105* in nj! And yes... I can only imagine the horror of discovering "that" so close to your piano books! Was Uncle Frank always smiling? ;-)
ReplyDeleteOMG!! The description of Aunt Pearl's piano playing sooo reminded me of Zip's cousin who really went for the gusto when banging out those gospel hymns. I wonder if she was wearing underwear??? LOL?
ReplyDeleteI bet Ms. V. sticks to the chairs!
It's around 100 degrees here in PA. All the fans in the house are ON. So is the .....
Oh my gosh but I needed that chuckle ! Such a great story !Hugs,Jen
ReplyDeleteLOL! Great story!
ReplyDeleteI about fell over when checking my dashboard and Ms. V selling her wares was all I could see. Of course I had to read the rest of the story thanks for the laughs, the other comments are to funny too.
ReplyDeleteCracking me up! I saw the thumbnail on my blogroll and wondered.....what in the world?!
ReplyDeleteNow I know.....great memories!
Oh my gosh......too funny! Now that's an image that would stay with you for a long time.
ReplyDeleteI think im using the wrong words/phrases when I search Etsy.
OMG, too funny. I have an old player piano and bench that still has the butt print of a gentleman who used to come to visit and whenever he came in he would sit at the piano and play and on a particular hot humid day was wearing polyester pants and left his imprint permanently on my bench.
ReplyDeleteThe gentleman died a few years ago and I think of him each time I dust the bench. lol..
I just love this story. Never was much of a piano player, but as a fiddler, you never want to play in this heat, cuz the fiddle won't come unglued from beneath your chin...
ReplyDeleteIt's too hot to move here in NH. We're in for 100 degrees today and tomorrow, with a hope of breaking on Sunday.
Thanks for the chuckle!
Stay cool!
Courtney
Too Funny!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWish I could share some of our cool weather and rain with you......we have only seen the sun 5 days since JUNE!!! not kidding....
One of your better stories - which is tough since they are all good.
ReplyDeleteIt's hot here in Northern Ontario too, so we've been sitting a lot - between jumps into the lake to cool off - and it is a continual round of bathing suits sticking to bums and bums sticking to everything.
Thanks for the laugh.
OMG I can't stop laughing!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Cathy, you just crack me up. I love your story. You should write a book! Your description of Aunt Pearl brought her right to life, and I could just about hear her belting out that gospel tune. What a hoot! Keep cool! (PS I have heard that stuff exists on Etsy but have never run into it...it's pretty funny in its own right, I think.)
ReplyDeleteomg....i read the whole thing and i am laughing...this is hysterical...i can just picture the whole thing in my minds eye !!!
ReplyDeletethanks for the laugh, my friend
love the story, hahaha, you are too funny!!
ReplyDeleteCathy ~
ReplyDeleteOMG! Too funny. I bet you are still scarred from the visual.
That picture reminded me that I need to floss!
Pug hugs :)
Lauren
Cathy, I tried yesterdy to post my comment and it wouldn't let me. Now I see Blogger is accepting messages.
ReplyDeleteM'dear, you sure do know how to spin a yarn! Great story.